Almost Over

Sunday was spent somewhat relaxing from the long week. Kris and I spent half the day going over the funeral things, writing thank you notes, putting money together to donate to the Community Outreach Health Clinic (which is where we requested memorials be donated). Who would have thought that just writing out thank you's would have taken so long? It was a good day to do it though, it was cold and rainy outside so we weren't going to be going anywhere. Now we have to start looking into what we are going to do with Kris's dad. He still isn't doing well with all this. Because of his memory issues he is constantly asking if Carole died and we have to tell him yes, so it is like hearing for the first time several times a day. We have a meeting with the lawyer to go over the will this week so we can find out our duties, and see if there is anything else we need to do before trying to figure out how to go forward with her dad. Stay tuned, I am sure this is just the beginning.

All Done

Carole's memorial service went pretty well. There were lots of family and friends who showed up at the funeral home to pay their respects. Sarah and Alison did a very good job with their readings. Sarah read the story of creation from Genesis, day three and Alison got to read the Gospel. Ali was nervous but I thought she did a very good job and I think that grandma would have been very proud of both of them.

I think we made a good decision by just having a service at the funeral home and not having a funeral mass at church. When her dad got there he was not handling things very well, but then once people starting arriving and talking to him, I think it helped keep his mind occupied. But both Kris and I don't think that he would have done very well with a big funeral in church or having a ceremony out at the cemetery.

Afterward we had a small buffet style lunch which got used up pretty fast. Thanks to Nino's Italian Bakery for providing some great food. We got a special dispensation from the priest who presided over the service so we could eat meat (someone remarked that during the lunch he should have stood up and said "April Fool"). We went back to Kris's dad's house afterward to just sit and visit with some family members and there was a little uncomfortableness associated with it. Ask Kris or me privately if you want details. I'll just say it was awkward.

All in all, I think Kris did a wonderful job putting things together for this and the service provided by the Schmidt & Bartelt Funeral Home was top notch. Thank you to all our friends and family who have provided their condolences and support in this difficult time. Let's just hope we don't have to do anything like this again anytime soon. The stress is just not good.

Ready To Go

I think we are all ready to go for tomorrow. Kris spent the day putting together photos on display boards. I think they look pretty good, though there aren't a lot from say longer than 15 years ago or so. But I think that Kris did a very good job arranging, and sorting, etc. I think it would be something her mom would like. The priest who is doing the service sent the readings that will be used to the girls so that they can practice, and all the other things for the lunch afterward is set.

I think it is time to get to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. We'll be up by 5:30 to start getting the girls ready (and us) and we have to be at the funeral home by about 10:15. I think a good night's sleep will go a long way to recharging the batteries so to speak.

Day Two

Two days down and one to go. Today was spent running to the monument company to get a headstone and get things for the luncheon. Who would have guessed there was so much to consider when picking a headstone. We spent almost two hours there shopping, planning and designing. It was actually a pretty pleasurable experience, it is just too bad that we had to be under the gun to get it done.

Before we went though, we stopped over at Kris's parents' house to check on Kris' brother and her dad. Well it was not a good night for him. When we got there, it looked like her dad hadn't slept at all. With his memory issues, he kept asking where Carole was, and if she had died. So we had to tell him and the result was just a breakdown crying. It is pretty heartbreaking because each time we tell him it is like he is hearing it for the first time. But as soon as Kris and I got there I think it helped because he became much less agitated and much less emotional. We both noticed a significant change, which is good. Though I worry about how things will change when aren't there.

We also had to take Alison out to get a pair of shoes to go with the dress she is wearing Friday since the pair she has right now is too small. Those of you who know Alison know that she is a shoe-hound. She was looking at all the shoes in the store, trying on every pair regardless of it was the style we were looking for or not. She actually wanted high heels, but we had to try and convince her that flats were the way to go.

Then we took the girls to Chili's for dinner as sort of a reward for putting up with the madness the last couple of days. I think that made them happy.

I also should add that Kris's aunt asked if Sarah, being Carole's oldest granddaughter, would like to do a reading at the service on Friday. We weren't sure but when we asked her she jumped at it. Then when Alison heard she decided that she wanted to do one as well. I hope they make it through ok. I think they'll be good as far as the reading goes, I am just worried they'll develop "stagefright" when it comes time to actually do it.

It's off to get some rest now. I'll be heading into work tomorrow and Kris has some friends and family stopping by tomorrow. Hopefully we have most everything taken care of for Friday.

Planning

Today was spent doing lots of planning. First thing we did was clean up the house. As we were cleaning things up from the night before we found a ziploc bag with each girl's name on it (Sarah, Alison, and Keith's daughter) that contained some hand embroidered pillow cases (which was one of Carole's favorite hobbies) and a handwritten note . The handwritten note even choked me up.

Then we had to go meet with the funeral home and go over services etc. One good thing is that we are not having a church service nor a formal burial service. Kris doesn't think (and I agree) that her dad would handle those very well. we went over what kind of display we will have, what we will be doing afterward, what kind of casket she will be buried in... all the fun stuff. Kris was doing pretty good until we got to writing the obituary. When it came time to write proud grandmother of Sarah and Alison... let's just say it took a moment for Kris to compose herself. We finished up with things, but it was very draining for Kris and her aunt (who was along to help).

Here is the obituary from the funeral home website. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel will be running it tomorrow.

Then as soon as we got finished, it was time to go get Ali from school, come home and get her homework done because tonight was the final dance class of this session through the rec. dept. When we got home we were also trying to figure out what to do with Kris's dad for the night. We got Kris's brother to agree to stay with him after a time, so that is one night down, but we can't keep going with this. Tomorrow we are going to see if we can find a solution to sitting with Bob every night.